As we all know (or can imagine), searching for an adoptee’s birth family (or a family’s birth child) can be extremely emotionally exhausting for all involved.
Last year, I responded hopefully to an ad I found in an adoption story that sounded a little like our story–same/similar birth date, lots of confusion, geographical potential. The family member I contacted seemed to agree that it was possible.
We shared photos of both families, and we both agreed that there was a marked resemblance.
“Your family would fit right in at Christmas,” she told me.
And then, she found out that her family member was adopted from Kansas City, KS, not the other Kansas City (in MO), as they’d originally believed.
And so was my husband–adopted from Kansas City, KS.
Suddenly it seemed actually possible to find out what happened in that phone booth 40 years ago.
We both requested our respective family member’s adoption files from the state of Kansas. After several weeks, we received my husband’s records, but much to our dismay, they were very little help as far as identifying any birth family.
My husband was released for adoption by an officer of the juvenile court of Wyandotte County–not by his birth mother or father. There was absolutely no indication in the slim file (at least nothing we have yet been able to detect) of heritage or parentage.
The would-be relative and I lost touch soon afterward, sadly. I have to assume that she found her actual long-lost uncle and has moved on. I wish her and all the other adoptees and birth families who have been able to reunite nothing but goodness and love. And as for those who are in our situation, ever-searching, still seeking–I offer empathy and support.
Here’s hoping that the next clue takes us all where we want to go.
Are you searching for your birth family or a birth child? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section, below.